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Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
-- Babe Ruth
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
-- Lyndon B Johnson
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with
his fools.
--Ernest Hemingway
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--Paul Hornung
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.
-- H L. Mencken
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When
We fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
-- George Bernard Shaw
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
-- Benjamin Franklin
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but
the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
-- Dave Barry
BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!
-- W. C. Fields
Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
-- Professor Irwin Corey
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group." Salvation in a
can!
-- Leo Durocher
I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything
on.
-- Oscar Levant, composer (1906-1972)
BEER and EVOLUTION
One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory" to
his buddy Norm: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can
only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted,
it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.
This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the
general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the
regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the
human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.
Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But
naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In
this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain
cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's
why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
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